No Strings Attached...Article I wrote for Lip Service Webzine

(This is a piece I wrote for Kill City/LipService Webzine. They are a Goth clothing company. They wanted "edgy". Not really my voice here.)
Hit The Sack, No Strings Attached....Reasons to get a Fuck Buddy.

I'm a twenty something year old woman, and all the men I go out with on dates all seem to be ready to settle down and get married after the second date. I’m not ready for that. I don't want a relationship right now, but if I find him sexy does it mean I should also sacrifice my sexual drive, needs and desires?

Girlfriend, You are a modern read: SEXUAL Woman. You need to ROAR. Last I checked it was 2009, which means we are no longer in the 1950's, we don't have to fear that repressive backwards ass shit which had women tied unwittingly to their kitchen appliances. Today, we women aka LIONESS VAMPS are in charge of countries and bodies of water. Recognize this now and take full advantage of it.

Ok, So, enough of the hail women’s lib feminist mumbo jumbo, you want me to spell it out for you?
What it sounds like you really need is a fuck buddy (or two or three or four....I mean who's counting anyway?) What you don't want (nor need is a boyfriend.) And amen to you for admitting it. Boyfriends and relationships require time and effort, and if you don’t want babies or marriage, then I say why not just stay away from boyfriends. Boyfriends can be a pain in the ass, and a total time and energy suck. They always want more, and need more. They will rarely just want to fuck you and leave; they actually want to spend time with you. Ick. It just doesn't sound like you have the time nor the desire to make the time to have a boyfriend right now. And to that I say more power to you.
Like I said, those days of looking at every sexual encounter as having to happen with someone you are 'in love' with or even dating are over. You are an independent woman and if you want to, and love to have sex with the men you are attracted to, (and if they are willing participants of course) then I say go for it. Sure, you’ll have the judgmental nay-sayers, read: the chastity belt wearing step-ford housewife types who live to please a man and to have babies, who will frown upon it and call it meaningless sex, or promiscuity but trust me they're just envious of your self confidence, independence and freedom. And, then there are the bra-burning hairy-legged women who call it evolved sex. Let's just fucking call it like it is, it's Sex, plain and simple. There’s nothing wrong with just sex either, if that’s what you want. Men have been reaping the benefits of 'just sex' in our society for decades. I’d like to think that as a society that we’ve evolved past the 'whore,' and 'slut,' labels attached to women who enjoy sex with someone who isn't their boyfriend, fiance' or husband. Women enjoy sex. YES. Get used to it.

There’s a distinct difference between fuck buddies and boyfriends. Fuck buddies, are buddies who just fuck. If you don’t want to fertilize your garden or recognize anything other than the physical attraction between you two, and if you don’t want to consummate a relationship then what you really need is to get a fuck buddy, a hot piece of ass to come over and fuck you (frequency is entirely up to you) and then leave. Hot sex is the only thing a fuck buddy can and should be expected to deliver. Anything more is approaching dangerously close to relationship territory, which brings relationship problems. And, if you don’t want the problems of a cumbersome relationship getting in the way of an unbridled sex life, don't be afriad to let out your inner vixen and tell that man (men, women or what have you) straight up, "No Strings Attached."


Now this is not necessarily for the everyone, and definitely not for the faint of heart. For one, we still as a society have ideas about sex and promiscuity. Secondly, for some people sex is an intimate and emotional experience, reserved for a single person with whom they feel very close with and have a connection with. So be honest with yourself about what you desire, and be honest with the person about your desires too. In a perfect world the desires will be reciprecrated.

To Get More Satisfaction out of your Relationships and Sex Life
Visit Mou Wilson, A Los Angeles Sex Therapist at Los Angeles Sex Therapy