Hi Ms. Wilson, well I'm 25, attractive and in great shape. But I've had sexual feelings for my mother since I was around 18. She is single now (my parents separated and I chose to live with her). She is an attractive woman herself and at 42 is in great shape. I know I shouldn't have these feelings. But I haven't tried to stop them because it feels so good. I'm very outgoing and like to look for a substitute to help. But I tend to find it makes me want her more. I'm not sure it's a healthy fantasy. It is sexually to me because I get off on it so much. I've slept with a few older women because of it. I've even thought about seeing somebody to role play it. But maybe that's taking it too far? But it might help too. Your view on this would really help! Samuel
Samuel,
Well, generally speaking "doing it more to get it out of your system" won't work. The more you do it, the deeper you will get and the harder it will be get over it and out of it. If you really want to get over it you need to focus on other aspects of your sexuality, find other things which you find attractive, sexy and hot and focus on those, even if they are not quite as tantalizing as your mother you might have to develop a new passion, or desire (or several others).
Part of the reason, you should also remember, that you have fantasies about your mother is because this is a natural part of sexual development. Your mother was the first person around when you began to develop your sexual self. She's relatively young and also in great shape. As a male, you are in your sexual prime. At your age, you are a walking hormone and hard on, and the fact that you cannot have sex with your mother, that it is totally forbidden and prohibited: What a turn on! Because as a society we are raised to think of sex as dirty and unmentionable we are even more so turned on by the unspoken and unspeakable. This too shall pass in intensity, although may never truly go away. In some sense you must learn to deal with these so they don't become overbearing intense obsessions in your life. A little bit of fantasy play with the taboo stuff can be healthy and fun.
Hope this helps,
Ms. Wilson
Sex, Love and Rock n Roll Radio
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
The Art of Dick
Cock, Penis or whatever you want to call it. Boy is it a sensitive subject, er, object.
Men's whole world is wrapped up in their cocks and they won't say it out loud or proclaim it or discuss it, but they will just assume that you feel the same way about their cock as they do. And maybe you do. Or maybe you don't. Maybe you have a vagina and to you cock is just what it is, a love-making tool that helps with procreation. Tool? How dare you call the cock a tool?
Men are really sensitive about their penises, and you will be surprised how many men I have met who come into my office because they think their penis is "BROKEN." It's obviously not physically broken like a broken leg or lost finger, but it NO LONGER WORKS. This my lady friends, is one of the biggest fears and losses in a man's life. The LOSS OF HIS DICK. Permanent damage. Castration. Etc. The irony is this, that 99.9% of the time (with the exception of extreme cases like Lorena Bobbitt or medical procedure penis removal for prostate cancer) this castration, permanent damage and loss of penis is 100% mental. Men put so much stock into their cocks, that they also put themselves in a high risk category for mental castration. Not all men do this of course. Some men see their penis in a more realistic light. SOME MEN, SOME TIME. But at one time or another, in every man's life I guarantee you the COCK is KING.
What men don't realize is that this is a high and mighty position, which is often difficult and downright tedious to maintain. And what comes up must come down. No pun intended. But, when you put something up so high up on a pedestal, and wrap your entire life and identity into you, you only set yourself up for disappointment and failure.
Yes, women love DICK, too. I am not saying that women don't at all, I mean come on we have developed silicone, plastic and latex imitations of the damn things. Yes, women like cock. BUT, Men have to realize how much your lust and desire for women and all things erotic is tied into a REFLECTION of your penis, that is how much your EGO is tied in with your COCK.
All this really means is that women, although may love and service your cock happily, and gratefully at times and then not so much at other times, but don't put quite as much importance on your Johnson quite as much nor in the same way you men do. To us, your cock is not a reflection of your manhood. Not in our eyes. We have Vagina's. We do not have an exterior object, er I mean member, that protrudes, feels pleasure and then excretes juice. We don't feel quite the same as you when it comes to lust, desire and passion, and the only reason we worship your penis is because YOU do. So, just relax. Affection and love can be given and received in so many ways.
Oh, and if a woman rejects your penis, by suggesting it's too small, big, fat or skinny, don't take this so personally. Recognize that there is more to sex, love, and passion than good old fashioned fucking.
All I am saying is that you are not a reflection of your cock, and your cock is not a reflection of you. So give your penis a break. If it feels broken, take it down off the pedestal for a while and see how your cock reacts to this. Don't put so much pressure on your penis. Seriously. The art to a happy Dick is to give Dick a break.
To Get More Satisfaction out of your Relationships and Sex Life
Visit Mou Wilson, A Los Angeles Sex Therapist at Los Angeles Sex Therapy
Men's whole world is wrapped up in their cocks and they won't say it out loud or proclaim it or discuss it, but they will just assume that you feel the same way about their cock as they do. And maybe you do. Or maybe you don't. Maybe you have a vagina and to you cock is just what it is, a love-making tool that helps with procreation. Tool? How dare you call the cock a tool?
Men are really sensitive about their penises, and you will be surprised how many men I have met who come into my office because they think their penis is "BROKEN." It's obviously not physically broken like a broken leg or lost finger, but it NO LONGER WORKS. This my lady friends, is one of the biggest fears and losses in a man's life. The LOSS OF HIS DICK. Permanent damage. Castration. Etc. The irony is this, that 99.9% of the time (with the exception of extreme cases like Lorena Bobbitt or medical procedure penis removal for prostate cancer) this castration, permanent damage and loss of penis is 100% mental. Men put so much stock into their cocks, that they also put themselves in a high risk category for mental castration. Not all men do this of course. Some men see their penis in a more realistic light. SOME MEN, SOME TIME. But at one time or another, in every man's life I guarantee you the COCK is KING.
What men don't realize is that this is a high and mighty position, which is often difficult and downright tedious to maintain. And what comes up must come down. No pun intended. But, when you put something up so high up on a pedestal, and wrap your entire life and identity into you, you only set yourself up for disappointment and failure.
Yes, women love DICK, too. I am not saying that women don't at all, I mean come on we have developed silicone, plastic and latex imitations of the damn things. Yes, women like cock. BUT, Men have to realize how much your lust and desire for women and all things erotic is tied into a REFLECTION of your penis, that is how much your EGO is tied in with your COCK.
All this really means is that women, although may love and service your cock happily, and gratefully at times and then not so much at other times, but don't put quite as much importance on your Johnson quite as much nor in the same way you men do. To us, your cock is not a reflection of your manhood. Not in our eyes. We have Vagina's. We do not have an exterior object, er I mean member, that protrudes, feels pleasure and then excretes juice. We don't feel quite the same as you when it comes to lust, desire and passion, and the only reason we worship your penis is because YOU do. So, just relax. Affection and love can be given and received in so many ways.
Oh, and if a woman rejects your penis, by suggesting it's too small, big, fat or skinny, don't take this so personally. Recognize that there is more to sex, love, and passion than good old fashioned fucking.
All I am saying is that you are not a reflection of your cock, and your cock is not a reflection of you. So give your penis a break. If it feels broken, take it down off the pedestal for a while and see how your cock reacts to this. Don't put so much pressure on your penis. Seriously. The art to a happy Dick is to give Dick a break.
To Get More Satisfaction out of your Relationships and Sex Life
Visit Mou Wilson, A Los Angeles Sex Therapist at Los Angeles Sex Therapy
Men Want Babies and Families Too...
Men come into my office all the time wondering why they cannot find a long term partner or relationship, wondering why their relationships are failing, and most of all with this unwielding desire to have a girlfriend/wife/partner, a family and babies. They want it really bad. Men want a lot of the same things women want. Sometimes even more so.
There is this age old belief that men don't want to settle down, that they constantly fight this societal law that is determined by women, who have biological clocks ticking away at a mad pace telling them they must get married, so that they may have babies and children in a timely manner, and that men hold out as long as they can until they meet the one who will at the very last minute grab their hand and drag them kicking and screaming down the aisle into wedded bliss that will last forever. Do you seriously believe this? (Remember the word "lie" is in beLIEve.) Who decided on marriage and monogamy? Was it a woman? Was it a gaggle of girls who decided that marriage and monogamy is the only way because they must have the house, the husband and the babies all before they turn 35? Did a committee of 34 year old women make this marriage rule? I don't think so. I don't want to get into a diatribe of who and why marriage, monogamy and matrimony were created or founded, because this would become a heated discussion about religion and politics, and I can save this discussion for a rainy day. What I do want to point out is that MEN, the very ones who supposedly crave variety in pussy, who don't want to be tied down, the very ones who are deemed Cassanova's and Lothario's at some point develop and discover that they have a biological clock too and want to settle down. They want it as much as women do, sometimes even more so.
The catch, ladies, is that they want the perfect woman.
You see monogamy suggests that there is one man for every woman. Monogamy is the Church's "No Man Left Behind" policy. In a monogamous society every man gets laid and every man can and will get married. This works for the ugly man, the unwanted man, the unlovable man. In a monogamous society there is a woman for every man, good, bad, ugly or sad. What has happened though in our society, such as in these big Western cities like Los Angeles, New York, San Francisco people (men and women) are discovering more and more that monogamy and marriage don't work for them, and is not always realistic. Women have become sex masters and have discovered (or are discovering) that they love and crave variety too. Now-a-days there are multitudes of the Female versions of Lothario and Cassanova, all over the place. Bad ass women who sleep around, they take names and numbers, they put notches on their belt, call themselves the "Piranha Sisters," recognize they don't need a man to have babies, that is if they even still want them, and so on. And guess what? Men are starting to realize that they want families. They want to own these Lotharia's and Cassnobetty's, marry them, have babies with them. Some want to tie these women down and regain the crown of Chief Seducer, but I think with more and more women finding their inner baiter's and inner seducers men are also discovering their inner desire to be with these women long term and also desire to become homemaker, caregiver, househusband, and dad. It's human nature.
To Get More Satisfaction out of your Relationships and Sex Life
Visit Mou Wilson, A Los Angeles Sex Therapist at Los Angeles Sex Therapy
There is this age old belief that men don't want to settle down, that they constantly fight this societal law that is determined by women, who have biological clocks ticking away at a mad pace telling them they must get married, so that they may have babies and children in a timely manner, and that men hold out as long as they can until they meet the one who will at the very last minute grab their hand and drag them kicking and screaming down the aisle into wedded bliss that will last forever. Do you seriously believe this? (Remember the word "lie" is in beLIEve.) Who decided on marriage and monogamy? Was it a woman? Was it a gaggle of girls who decided that marriage and monogamy is the only way because they must have the house, the husband and the babies all before they turn 35? Did a committee of 34 year old women make this marriage rule? I don't think so. I don't want to get into a diatribe of who and why marriage, monogamy and matrimony were created or founded, because this would become a heated discussion about religion and politics, and I can save this discussion for a rainy day. What I do want to point out is that MEN, the very ones who supposedly crave variety in pussy, who don't want to be tied down, the very ones who are deemed Cassanova's and Lothario's at some point develop and discover that they have a biological clock too and want to settle down. They want it as much as women do, sometimes even more so.
The catch, ladies, is that they want the perfect woman.
You see monogamy suggests that there is one man for every woman. Monogamy is the Church's "No Man Left Behind" policy. In a monogamous society every man gets laid and every man can and will get married. This works for the ugly man, the unwanted man, the unlovable man. In a monogamous society there is a woman for every man, good, bad, ugly or sad. What has happened though in our society, such as in these big Western cities like Los Angeles, New York, San Francisco people (men and women) are discovering more and more that monogamy and marriage don't work for them, and is not always realistic. Women have become sex masters and have discovered (or are discovering) that they love and crave variety too. Now-a-days there are multitudes of the Female versions of Lothario and Cassanova, all over the place. Bad ass women who sleep around, they take names and numbers, they put notches on their belt, call themselves the "Piranha Sisters," recognize they don't need a man to have babies, that is if they even still want them, and so on. And guess what? Men are starting to realize that they want families. They want to own these Lotharia's and Cassnobetty's, marry them, have babies with them. Some want to tie these women down and regain the crown of Chief Seducer, but I think with more and more women finding their inner baiter's and inner seducers men are also discovering their inner desire to be with these women long term and also desire to become homemaker, caregiver, househusband, and dad. It's human nature.
To Get More Satisfaction out of your Relationships and Sex Life
Visit Mou Wilson, A Los Angeles Sex Therapist at Los Angeles Sex Therapy
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