Men come into my office all the time wondering why they cannot find a long term partner or relationship, wondering why their relationships are failing, and most of all with this unwielding desire to have a girlfriend/wife/partner, a family and babies. They want it really bad. Men want a lot of the same things women want. Sometimes even more so.
There is this age old belief that men don't want to settle down, that they constantly fight this societal law that is determined by women, who have biological clocks ticking away at a mad pace telling them they must get married, so that they may have babies and children in a timely manner, and that men hold out as long as they can until they meet the one who will at the very last minute grab their hand and drag them kicking and screaming down the aisle into wedded bliss that will last forever. Do you seriously believe this? (Remember the word "lie" is in beLIEve.) Who decided on marriage and monogamy? Was it a woman? Was it a gaggle of girls who decided that marriage and monogamy is the only way because they must have the house, the husband and the babies all before they turn 35? Did a committee of 34 year old women make this marriage rule? I don't think so. I don't want to get into a diatribe of who and why marriage, monogamy and matrimony were created or founded, because this would become a heated discussion about religion and politics, and I can save this discussion for a rainy day. What I do want to point out is that MEN, the very ones who supposedly crave variety in pussy, who don't want to be tied down, the very ones who are deemed Cassanova's and Lothario's at some point develop and discover that they have a biological clock too and want to settle down. They want it as much as women do, sometimes even more so.
The catch, ladies, is that they want the perfect woman.
You see monogamy suggests that there is one man for every woman. Monogamy is the Church's "No Man Left Behind" policy. In a monogamous society every man gets laid and every man can and will get married. This works for the ugly man, the unwanted man, the unlovable man. In a monogamous society there is a woman for every man, good, bad, ugly or sad. What has happened though in our society, such as in these big Western cities like Los Angeles, New York, San Francisco people (men and women) are discovering more and more that monogamy and marriage don't work for them, and is not always realistic. Women have become sex masters and have discovered (or are discovering) that they love and crave variety too. Now-a-days there are multitudes of the Female versions of Lothario and Cassanova, all over the place. Bad ass women who sleep around, they take names and numbers, they put notches on their belt, call themselves the "Piranha Sisters," recognize they don't need a man to have babies, that is if they even still want them, and so on. And guess what? Men are starting to realize that they want families. They want to own these Lotharia's and Cassnobetty's, marry them, have babies with them. Some want to tie these women down and regain the crown of Chief Seducer, but I think with more and more women finding their inner baiter's and inner seducers men are also discovering their inner desire to be with these women long term and also desire to become homemaker, caregiver, househusband, and dad. It's human nature.
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