I hate diagnosing clients. I work in Private Practice and if a client is paying me out of pocket then I do not have to give him/her a diagnosis. I deal with a lot of relationship issues and sexual stuff, and our ails are fluid and ever changing. We may be depressed one day, anxious the next and failing to orgasm the next. Sure these ails can all be tied up into one (or several for that matter) neat little diagnosis package/s if you really want a label, but as a therapist who works with you mentally and emotionally by talking things out with you tohelp you figure out and get through your situational ails, and who doesn't prescribe medication nor give you a pill or pill cocktail to fix your ails either, I really do not have to give you a diagnosis. This should work out perfect then for me and you. Thank goodness, right? However, when and if a client chooses to get reimbursed by his/her insurance company, then the insurance company asks me for a diagnosis. I have to comply with my client who wants his/her money back from their insurance company. I hate it on so many levels. First of all, when you are dealing with insurance companies you're info is no longer 100% confidential. Your diagnosis and info is all over some insurance companies computer network which can be 1) shared with other insurance companies and 2)hacked into. Second of all, I hate labels. And in our country, our insurance companies and our health policies will force you to carry your label, your diagnosis with you throughout your lifetime. It's your call. But, I will always tell you, if you ask, keep your insurance company out of it.
Yesterday Dr. Zur wrote in his email newsletter in reference to the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders):
IF THERE IS A PILL, THERE IS A DISORDER
Laughing too much, or too long, is the primary symptom of a proposed new disorder. It is referred to as "Emotional Incontinence," and labeled Involuntary Emotional Expression Disorder (IEED).
There follows, of course, a pill to fix just that.
The proposed new disorder is one more illustration of how the DSM is primarily driven by the psychopharmacological industry. As we have reported in past Clinical Updates, the DSM pathologizes normal behavior, such as grief, sadness, shyness, healthy rebelliousness, and now...laughter.
The Question:
* Which comes first: chicken or egg? New medication or new disorder? Does the disorder create the need for the pharmaceutical intervention or does the pharmaceutical invention create the need for a new diagnostic label?
Old News:
* Drug companies fund, and reap the benefits of, research that is used to advocate new DSM diagnostic categories that can be treated by...pills.
This is No Joke:
* The stock of Avanir Pharmaceutical, a psychopharmacological company. gained 14% when they announced that they have a pill to treat "Emotional Incontinence," labeled: Involuntary Emotional Expressions Disorder (IEED).
* Avanir Pharmaceuticals has received priority review status for Neurodex from the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA).
* More Details
Warning 1
The latest "news" of a new proposed disorder supports the analysis offered
in our online course:
DSM: Diagnosing for Money and Power (4 CEUs)
Research on IEED claims the following:
"Patients may find themselves laughing uncontrollably at something that is only moderately humorous, being unable to stop themselves for several minutes. Episodes may also be mood-incongruent: a patient might laugh uncontrollably when angry or frustrated, for example."
"IEED is also currently being considered for inclusion in the upcoming DSM V as one of two symptoms (of five possible) which must be present for a diagnosis of ADHD in adults."
"Treatment for labile affect is usually pharmacological."
[Sources: IR, or simply Google "IEED"]
Your comments are welcome on our DSM Blog.
Warning 2
As our online course, DSM: Diagnosing for Money and Power, documents:
* Most texts and graduate and postgraduate courses present the DSM as an objective, valid, and scientific document. It is none of these.
* DSM-based research has repeatedly been shown to be of questionable validity and is, in fact, very unreliable.
* For example:
o Existential anxieties are sometimes labeled as "Anxiety Disorder"
o Shyness can too easily be seen and treated as "Social Phobia"
o Lasting grief becomes "Complicated Grief Reaction"
o Spirited and strong-willed children are afflicted with "Oppositional Disorder or ADD"
o Those experiencing spiritual events as labeled "Delusional".
* The DSM is primarily driven by the psychopharmacological industry, which reaps huge profits from each new diagnosis that can be treated with medication.
* According to the NY Times, more than half (56%) of the upcoming DSM V task force members, who oversee the next edition of the DSM, have ties to the drug industry. The percentage was high - 100% in some cases - for experts who worked on sections of the manual devoted to severe mental illnesses.
The upcoming DSM V is due to be published in 2012. I propose a new title:
DSM I: If there is a pill, there is a disorder."
Dr. Zur offers hundreds of CEU's for therapists. Inexpensive and independent. Visit his site here: Zur Institute
Sex, Love and Rock n Roll Radio
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Hot For Mom- A Letter from Samuel
Hi Ms. Wilson, well I'm 25, attractive and in great shape. But I've had sexual feelings for my mother since I was around 18. She is single now (my parents separated and I chose to live with her). She is an attractive woman herself and at 42 is in great shape. I know I shouldn't have these feelings. But I haven't tried to stop them because it feels so good. I'm very outgoing and like to look for a substitute to help. But I tend to find it makes me want her more. I'm not sure it's a healthy fantasy. It is sexually to me because I get off on it so much. I've slept with a few older women because of it. I've even thought about seeing somebody to role play it. But maybe that's taking it too far? But it might help too. Your view on this would really help! Samuel
Samuel,
Well, generally speaking "doing it more to get it out of your system" won't work. The more you do it, the deeper you will get and the harder it will be get over it and out of it. If you really want to get over it you need to focus on other aspects of your sexuality, find other things which you find attractive, sexy and hot and focus on those, even if they are not quite as tantalizing as your mother you might have to develop a new passion, or desire (or several others).
Part of the reason, you should also remember, that you have fantasies about your mother is because this is a natural part of sexual development. Your mother was the first person around when you began to develop your sexual self. She's relatively young and also in great shape. As a male, you are in your sexual prime. At your age, you are a walking hormone and hard on, and the fact that you cannot have sex with your mother, that it is totally forbidden and prohibited: What a turn on! Because as a society we are raised to think of sex as dirty and unmentionable we are even more so turned on by the unspoken and unspeakable. This too shall pass in intensity, although may never truly go away. In some sense you must learn to deal with these so they don't become overbearing intense obsessions in your life. A little bit of fantasy play with the taboo stuff can be healthy and fun.
Hope this helps,
Ms. Wilson
Samuel,
Well, generally speaking "doing it more to get it out of your system" won't work. The more you do it, the deeper you will get and the harder it will be get over it and out of it. If you really want to get over it you need to focus on other aspects of your sexuality, find other things which you find attractive, sexy and hot and focus on those, even if they are not quite as tantalizing as your mother you might have to develop a new passion, or desire (or several others).
Part of the reason, you should also remember, that you have fantasies about your mother is because this is a natural part of sexual development. Your mother was the first person around when you began to develop your sexual self. She's relatively young and also in great shape. As a male, you are in your sexual prime. At your age, you are a walking hormone and hard on, and the fact that you cannot have sex with your mother, that it is totally forbidden and prohibited: What a turn on! Because as a society we are raised to think of sex as dirty and unmentionable we are even more so turned on by the unspoken and unspeakable. This too shall pass in intensity, although may never truly go away. In some sense you must learn to deal with these so they don't become overbearing intense obsessions in your life. A little bit of fantasy play with the taboo stuff can be healthy and fun.
Hope this helps,
Ms. Wilson
The Art of Dick
Cock, Penis or whatever you want to call it. Boy is it a sensitive subject, er, object.
Men's whole world is wrapped up in their cocks and they won't say it out loud or proclaim it or discuss it, but they will just assume that you feel the same way about their cock as they do. And maybe you do. Or maybe you don't. Maybe you have a vagina and to you cock is just what it is, a love-making tool that helps with procreation. Tool? How dare you call the cock a tool?
Men are really sensitive about their penises, and you will be surprised how many men I have met who come into my office because they think their penis is "BROKEN." It's obviously not physically broken like a broken leg or lost finger, but it NO LONGER WORKS. This my lady friends, is one of the biggest fears and losses in a man's life. The LOSS OF HIS DICK. Permanent damage. Castration. Etc. The irony is this, that 99.9% of the time (with the exception of extreme cases like Lorena Bobbitt or medical procedure penis removal for prostate cancer) this castration, permanent damage and loss of penis is 100% mental. Men put so much stock into their cocks, that they also put themselves in a high risk category for mental castration. Not all men do this of course. Some men see their penis in a more realistic light. SOME MEN, SOME TIME. But at one time or another, in every man's life I guarantee you the COCK is KING.
What men don't realize is that this is a high and mighty position, which is often difficult and downright tedious to maintain. And what comes up must come down. No pun intended. But, when you put something up so high up on a pedestal, and wrap your entire life and identity into you, you only set yourself up for disappointment and failure.
Yes, women love DICK, too. I am not saying that women don't at all, I mean come on we have developed silicone, plastic and latex imitations of the damn things. Yes, women like cock. BUT, Men have to realize how much your lust and desire for women and all things erotic is tied into a REFLECTION of your penis, that is how much your EGO is tied in with your COCK.
All this really means is that women, although may love and service your cock happily, and gratefully at times and then not so much at other times, but don't put quite as much importance on your Johnson quite as much nor in the same way you men do. To us, your cock is not a reflection of your manhood. Not in our eyes. We have Vagina's. We do not have an exterior object, er I mean member, that protrudes, feels pleasure and then excretes juice. We don't feel quite the same as you when it comes to lust, desire and passion, and the only reason we worship your penis is because YOU do. So, just relax. Affection and love can be given and received in so many ways.
Oh, and if a woman rejects your penis, by suggesting it's too small, big, fat or skinny, don't take this so personally. Recognize that there is more to sex, love, and passion than good old fashioned fucking.
All I am saying is that you are not a reflection of your cock, and your cock is not a reflection of you. So give your penis a break. If it feels broken, take it down off the pedestal for a while and see how your cock reacts to this. Don't put so much pressure on your penis. Seriously. The art to a happy Dick is to give Dick a break.
To Get More Satisfaction out of your Relationships and Sex Life
Visit Mou Wilson, A Los Angeles Sex Therapist at Los Angeles Sex Therapy
Men's whole world is wrapped up in their cocks and they won't say it out loud or proclaim it or discuss it, but they will just assume that you feel the same way about their cock as they do. And maybe you do. Or maybe you don't. Maybe you have a vagina and to you cock is just what it is, a love-making tool that helps with procreation. Tool? How dare you call the cock a tool?
Men are really sensitive about their penises, and you will be surprised how many men I have met who come into my office because they think their penis is "BROKEN." It's obviously not physically broken like a broken leg or lost finger, but it NO LONGER WORKS. This my lady friends, is one of the biggest fears and losses in a man's life. The LOSS OF HIS DICK. Permanent damage. Castration. Etc. The irony is this, that 99.9% of the time (with the exception of extreme cases like Lorena Bobbitt or medical procedure penis removal for prostate cancer) this castration, permanent damage and loss of penis is 100% mental. Men put so much stock into their cocks, that they also put themselves in a high risk category for mental castration. Not all men do this of course. Some men see their penis in a more realistic light. SOME MEN, SOME TIME. But at one time or another, in every man's life I guarantee you the COCK is KING.
What men don't realize is that this is a high and mighty position, which is often difficult and downright tedious to maintain. And what comes up must come down. No pun intended. But, when you put something up so high up on a pedestal, and wrap your entire life and identity into you, you only set yourself up for disappointment and failure.
Yes, women love DICK, too. I am not saying that women don't at all, I mean come on we have developed silicone, plastic and latex imitations of the damn things. Yes, women like cock. BUT, Men have to realize how much your lust and desire for women and all things erotic is tied into a REFLECTION of your penis, that is how much your EGO is tied in with your COCK.
All this really means is that women, although may love and service your cock happily, and gratefully at times and then not so much at other times, but don't put quite as much importance on your Johnson quite as much nor in the same way you men do. To us, your cock is not a reflection of your manhood. Not in our eyes. We have Vagina's. We do not have an exterior object, er I mean member, that protrudes, feels pleasure and then excretes juice. We don't feel quite the same as you when it comes to lust, desire and passion, and the only reason we worship your penis is because YOU do. So, just relax. Affection and love can be given and received in so many ways.
Oh, and if a woman rejects your penis, by suggesting it's too small, big, fat or skinny, don't take this so personally. Recognize that there is more to sex, love, and passion than good old fashioned fucking.
All I am saying is that you are not a reflection of your cock, and your cock is not a reflection of you. So give your penis a break. If it feels broken, take it down off the pedestal for a while and see how your cock reacts to this. Don't put so much pressure on your penis. Seriously. The art to a happy Dick is to give Dick a break.
To Get More Satisfaction out of your Relationships and Sex Life
Visit Mou Wilson, A Los Angeles Sex Therapist at Los Angeles Sex Therapy
Men Want Babies and Families Too...
Men come into my office all the time wondering why they cannot find a long term partner or relationship, wondering why their relationships are failing, and most of all with this unwielding desire to have a girlfriend/wife/partner, a family and babies. They want it really bad. Men want a lot of the same things women want. Sometimes even more so.
There is this age old belief that men don't want to settle down, that they constantly fight this societal law that is determined by women, who have biological clocks ticking away at a mad pace telling them they must get married, so that they may have babies and children in a timely manner, and that men hold out as long as they can until they meet the one who will at the very last minute grab their hand and drag them kicking and screaming down the aisle into wedded bliss that will last forever. Do you seriously believe this? (Remember the word "lie" is in beLIEve.) Who decided on marriage and monogamy? Was it a woman? Was it a gaggle of girls who decided that marriage and monogamy is the only way because they must have the house, the husband and the babies all before they turn 35? Did a committee of 34 year old women make this marriage rule? I don't think so. I don't want to get into a diatribe of who and why marriage, monogamy and matrimony were created or founded, because this would become a heated discussion about religion and politics, and I can save this discussion for a rainy day. What I do want to point out is that MEN, the very ones who supposedly crave variety in pussy, who don't want to be tied down, the very ones who are deemed Cassanova's and Lothario's at some point develop and discover that they have a biological clock too and want to settle down. They want it as much as women do, sometimes even more so.
The catch, ladies, is that they want the perfect woman.
You see monogamy suggests that there is one man for every woman. Monogamy is the Church's "No Man Left Behind" policy. In a monogamous society every man gets laid and every man can and will get married. This works for the ugly man, the unwanted man, the unlovable man. In a monogamous society there is a woman for every man, good, bad, ugly or sad. What has happened though in our society, such as in these big Western cities like Los Angeles, New York, San Francisco people (men and women) are discovering more and more that monogamy and marriage don't work for them, and is not always realistic. Women have become sex masters and have discovered (or are discovering) that they love and crave variety too. Now-a-days there are multitudes of the Female versions of Lothario and Cassanova, all over the place. Bad ass women who sleep around, they take names and numbers, they put notches on their belt, call themselves the "Piranha Sisters," recognize they don't need a man to have babies, that is if they even still want them, and so on. And guess what? Men are starting to realize that they want families. They want to own these Lotharia's and Cassnobetty's, marry them, have babies with them. Some want to tie these women down and regain the crown of Chief Seducer, but I think with more and more women finding their inner baiter's and inner seducers men are also discovering their inner desire to be with these women long term and also desire to become homemaker, caregiver, househusband, and dad. It's human nature.
To Get More Satisfaction out of your Relationships and Sex Life
Visit Mou Wilson, A Los Angeles Sex Therapist at Los Angeles Sex Therapy
There is this age old belief that men don't want to settle down, that they constantly fight this societal law that is determined by women, who have biological clocks ticking away at a mad pace telling them they must get married, so that they may have babies and children in a timely manner, and that men hold out as long as they can until they meet the one who will at the very last minute grab their hand and drag them kicking and screaming down the aisle into wedded bliss that will last forever. Do you seriously believe this? (Remember the word "lie" is in beLIEve.) Who decided on marriage and monogamy? Was it a woman? Was it a gaggle of girls who decided that marriage and monogamy is the only way because they must have the house, the husband and the babies all before they turn 35? Did a committee of 34 year old women make this marriage rule? I don't think so. I don't want to get into a diatribe of who and why marriage, monogamy and matrimony were created or founded, because this would become a heated discussion about religion and politics, and I can save this discussion for a rainy day. What I do want to point out is that MEN, the very ones who supposedly crave variety in pussy, who don't want to be tied down, the very ones who are deemed Cassanova's and Lothario's at some point develop and discover that they have a biological clock too and want to settle down. They want it as much as women do, sometimes even more so.
The catch, ladies, is that they want the perfect woman.
You see monogamy suggests that there is one man for every woman. Monogamy is the Church's "No Man Left Behind" policy. In a monogamous society every man gets laid and every man can and will get married. This works for the ugly man, the unwanted man, the unlovable man. In a monogamous society there is a woman for every man, good, bad, ugly or sad. What has happened though in our society, such as in these big Western cities like Los Angeles, New York, San Francisco people (men and women) are discovering more and more that monogamy and marriage don't work for them, and is not always realistic. Women have become sex masters and have discovered (or are discovering) that they love and crave variety too. Now-a-days there are multitudes of the Female versions of Lothario and Cassanova, all over the place. Bad ass women who sleep around, they take names and numbers, they put notches on their belt, call themselves the "Piranha Sisters," recognize they don't need a man to have babies, that is if they even still want them, and so on. And guess what? Men are starting to realize that they want families. They want to own these Lotharia's and Cassnobetty's, marry them, have babies with them. Some want to tie these women down and regain the crown of Chief Seducer, but I think with more and more women finding their inner baiter's and inner seducers men are also discovering their inner desire to be with these women long term and also desire to become homemaker, caregiver, househusband, and dad. It's human nature.
To Get More Satisfaction out of your Relationships and Sex Life
Visit Mou Wilson, A Los Angeles Sex Therapist at Los Angeles Sex Therapy
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