March Madness....

It's been a busy month in the world of Los Angeles Sex Therapy. I am not sure if it's the post Valentine's Day blues, but I have a sneaking suspicion that around this time of year, in a city which promotes couple hood, via the big screen but also promotes single hood, nightlife, sexuality and freedom, it's no wonder many are in a conundrum. The truth, you can have it all, you can have what you want, which is why I am here, to help you understand how to balance it all, know what you want, break down barriers and walls such as talking about sex, for starters, and then to make it all work. Visit my website for more info...

The March Newsletter came out on March 14th. Sorry I did not post it on here sooner. You can take a gander at it here. 

And my latest article for Good Therapy was about this phenomenon of ownership and blame in relationships. The key is to take responsibility for your role, and recognize it takes two to tango. Read the article here.

Public speaking/training mainly with students and interns. Last month, I spoke about building a private practice  at Secure Transitions, an agency that works with foster families a few weeks ago, and I did a talk on the importance of including talks about sex in your therapy, at Pepperdine University in Malibu just last week, I am available to speak at your facility or private event. Please email me at Mou@LASexTherapist.com if you're interested. Next week I will be speaking at IPSA, International Professional Surrogates Association, at one of their surrogate trainings. 

Finally, the movie Temples and Brothels is a project that is close to my heart, but takes a lot of time, effort and work, often times away from Los Angeles and my livelihood. Your contributions are greatly appreciated. 

Committed to LOVING. Are you?

I am committed to commitment, love, relationships, but I am also committed to helping you understand the type of dedication that goes into a successful relationship. They don't just happen. They aren't just born great. Sure, some people are more compatible that others based on training and experience but at the end of the day to keep a relationship flowing takes commitment.

Those little conscientious steps you take to show up for your partner on a DAILY basis are what make the relationship, but when I say DAILY, I mean daily. Do you want to focus on your career? On yourself? ON something else, then think twice before getting into a relationship. You don't have to be in one, if you cannot commit.

Here is my latest article. Change Your Mind and Open Your Heart I feel like I write the same article day in and day out. Different words, same message. How many different ways are there to say it? We'll see :-)
It just goes to show that my feeling on the subject never change. Having an open heart and mind are key to having a great relationship. Great relationships aren't born, they are made.

Best of luck to you today as you navigate your relationships by putting your most conscious foot forward.
Mou

The Elephant in the Room: Why We Need Full Disclosure in Sex Therapy

Successful treatment can take a while. A therapist can ask all the right questions, but the client may inadvertently leave the most important piece of information out for weeks or months, which can be the key to successful treatment and therapy. Building a rapport with your therapist is important and goes hand in hand  with the knowledge or feeling that your therapist is nonjudgmental while also carefully explains why certain behaviors and patterns may be surfacing.
Read my take on why it's so important to fully disclose in therapy  here. 

Send out your LOVE on Valentines Day!

Yep, tomorrow is Valentines Day, and my Facebook page is flooded with all sorts of positive and negative reminders about the existence of this day. Many love it, many hate it, and many love to hate it. Valentines Day is a commercial holiday designed for lovers, for romance, for our fascination with lust and romantic love, but this year I ask you to do something different. Of course, if you are in a relationship don't ignore your partner, technically I it's a day to celebrate your relationship, to let them know they're special, but it's also a day of love right? And, in my humble opinion, you should be letting your partner know everday how special they are, so Valentines Day should be no different.

I want to turn your attention to sex trafficking this very day. It is a catastrophe, based on a declining economic state of a world, to enslave mostly women sexually to men, (but also men) and not to mention the horrible abuse, humiliation and torture that goes along with it.. It's horrific and unless people get educated about what is happening nothing will change. Education, knowledge and information is the only way we can begin to get a handle on this world crime that is growing bigger by the day.

I've been making a film about positive sexuality. It's called Temples and Brothels, and the initial goal of the project was to inform about sex and religion practices towards acceptance, the breaking down of myths and therefor stigma. One of the main things we have been documenting is prostitution, specifically in legalized brothels where prostitutes are treated with respect and dignity, a lifestyle that is selected by choice. I thought the film was almost done. We'd spent 2011 visiting brothels and talking to prostitutes who also shared this positive view of sexuality. I knew about the trafficking going on but it wasn't until very recently that I felt that I could not make a film, about positive sexuality, about prostitution in legal brothels and completely leave out what is happening in the world with the sex trade and trafficking.

Therefor the film has taken a semi-sharp turn, and now I must return to SouthEast Asia to complete this film. I knew this would happen. Things just have a way of presenting themselves.

I usually take vacation in August and December. Working for myself I get to choose those times. This year instead of a vacation I feel the pull to get over there and find out what is going on, document it on film and then play it for you on the big screen. Education and knowledge are key.

I cannot do this without your help. My partner in crime, ie Producer, on this project is Chris Knitter, Founder of Overlooked Productions, together with him, a couple other camera people and educators Jenae Morgen and Raul Olivas, we've embarked on this journey, of investigative reporting on sex and religion.

We have a website, a facebook page, a twitter. We also have a campaign page where you can contribute money, every dollar helps us pay for expenses, but the biggest contribution you can give is by spreading the word. We're going to Asia, whether we raise the money or not, but the more money we raise, and the more people that know about it, the more comprehensive this project will end up being. Please help by spreading the word. That's all I want for Valentines Day.

As always, learning to be loving or as I call it OCCUPY LOVE is an everyday thing and a lifelong journey, not just for V-day but since it's the day for it here's my special Valentines Day newsletter with all the loving reminders you need.

In Love, Light and Lube,
Mou

What We Can Do To Embrace Love on Valentines Day

I like Valentines' Day, because I believe in LOVE. But not the kind of LOVE which requires marriage and paperwork and rules, not the kind of love that limits who you can look at, flirt with, be attracted to, not the kind of love that involves jealousy, insecurity, fear, or doubt. Not the kind of love that is prescribed by Hallmark, the makers of Valentines Day cards. I am talking about loving. Being open, and allowing for love to flow freely, like water, taking the path of least resistance that wants everyone to feel loved and to be happy. The kind of love that is self love but is self less, that is giving and openly receiving, the kind of love that is open and not closed.

I call it OCCUPY LOVE. Here are 5 ways in which you can do this....Read HERE.